The "High Value Man" Is A Simp
This is the definition of a simp, and we all know how women treat simps.
Women DO NOT settle for men like this until they are well into their 30s, and desperate, or have a few children by a loser who did NONE of this.
The few women who do appreciate these qualities in men typically get married young.
I recently counseled a reader who was worried that his job in social work wasn’t exciting, or high paying enough to attract the beautiful women he desires.
I assured him this is not the case.
Due to the fact that women think and operate the OPPOSITE of all logic and reason:
it’s actually EASIER to sleep with women FASTER if they think you are:
broke,
a player,
unreliable,
or otherwise unsuitable as husband material.
Their “Level up” role model Ciara got passed around by MULTIPLE rappers, NBA players, and bad boys in her youth.
She settled down with a square, church going “High Value Male” only after becoming a single mom in her 30s.
How long do you think the gangster rappers waited to get “vetted”?
I advised him:
“Women will sometimes try to make those guys (husband/ provider types) wait for sex so they don't seem "easy", but they'll sleep with the hot bartender, unemployed surfer, or aspiring musician right away.
It's not about your money.”
This is a concept author Rollo Tomassi coined as the Dual Mating Strategy, or known colloquially as “Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks”.
The term describes the way that women operate with two sets of rules:
Men they are physically attracted to: immediate, sweaty, lustful sex- “Alpha Fucks”
For men they aren’t: passionless, negotiated sex, and only AFTER he meets her requirements for financial provision and security, i.e. “Beta Bucks”.
You waited MONTHS, paid for dates, and took her illegitimate son to Chuck E. Cheese six times…
but she slobbed on the DJ in the club bathroom, the FIRST night they met.
A Woman Who Desires You Will Not Be Able To Resist You
Women are are highly emotional beings, totally controlled by their whims and feelings.
They are simply not genetically wired to be good at logic, calculation, or planning.
Women are impulsive, emotional spenders and emotional eaters. They’ll be dancing one minute, crying the next.
If a woman is able to calmly tick the days off a calendar until she will sleep with you, accept the truth:
She’s NOT attracted to you.
A woman who desires you will not want to wait weeks or months to open herself to you.
She wouldn’t be able to if she tried.
Congratulations, You Played Yourself
When men hear a term like “High Value Man”, we rush to qualify ourselves as worthy of that title.
I’ve done it here on Solitary Beast.
In order to prove my HVM status, I’ve referenced my career, investments, being lean and physically fit, even my personal grooming habits and social skills.
When I realized I had fallen for a trap, I had to laugh.
Here I am, spending years learning about social skills and seduction, writing a blog on the topic, and considering myself an expert on women- yet I even fell for such a simple psychological trick.
As men, we thrive on challenge. We crave status, especially among other men, and the revel in opportunities to prove ourselves.
This hard wired tendency is why gangs of young men perform initiation rituals like completing a nefarious task, or surviving a beat down. It’s why fraternities and elite military units engage in hazing.
We hear a term like “High Value Man”, and instantly want to associate ourselves with the mantle, without stopping to ask:
Why would a man want to be “High Value”?
On its face, it sounds like a good thing, but take a deeper look.
What’s In It for the High Value Man?
Online communities like Female Dating Strategies encourage women to evaluate, or “vet” men that they think might be High Value, with a rigorous dating process.
During the months of “vetting” you will be rewarded for your High Value status with:
Demanding expensive dinner dates
Evaluating if you measure up to be a “good role model” for another man’s bastard children
Providing the financial and emotion labor of charming, entertaining, and dating her
All while she withholds sex like a Cold War military leader negotiating a hostage situation
From a comment on this blog.
A woman proudly admitting that she made the “most educated man” she ever dated wait MONTHS, for the same wet hole she gave up to deadbeats and losers since high school, for nothing.
Why be a “High Value” cuck, when you could be a deadbeat that’s fucking?
What’s attractive about that?
This is the truly delusional part of Female Dating Strategies.
A man is supposed to wait around: submit his W-2s, a list of references, and his dental records for a woman to evaluate, thoroughly investigating if he is appealing enough to be her workhorse beta husband.
Author Pook, from the famous, Book of Pook (Essential reading), put it best in his post “Even More Womanese”:
“This type of girl sees you only as a piece of livestock, like a mule, to be an umbrella of stability to place her nest on.”
The “High Value Male” is a piece of livestock. He sweats and toils for pussy that DJs and small time pot dealers been getting for free since she was 15 years old.
If he was to get into a relationship, such a man is submitting himself to be manipulated for sex for the rest of his life.
The woman will wield access to sex like a weapon.
Whenever she wants anything from a new car, to the trash taken out, she’ll threaten the man with her old trick of withholding intimacy.
Sex Happens Naturally
Aside from religious, or desperate men, no attractive man will submit himself to that.
Men that are good with women know that a woman who is genuinely interested in a man WANTS to be close to him.
She wants to share herself with a confident, caring man that has won her heart through his good looks, personality, and charm.
A Successful Date Is Like A Love Story Unfolding
You meet her for drinks, or pick her up at her place.
Encourage her to talk about herself, and her life, with engaging questions.
Lead her on an exciting date that you planned, not to impress her, but because you enjoy being a man, getting to know a beautiful woman.
When I take women on dates like this, they kiss ME at the end of the night.
Sex simply happens naturally as the evening unfolds.
It’s romantic, spontaneous, and effortless.
Once you make yourself into an attractive man, you’ll find that women are THRILLED to connect with a desirable man, a welcome change from the sleazy, wannabe pick up artists or “Nice guy” betas they are forced to friend zone. See my post “7 Reasons Women Reject You".
This is how I sleep with women on the second date. I purposely wait until at least date #2 to make sure the woman isn’t crazy.
I know how to seduce women by engaging their emotions and making them comfortable.
Most men never bothered to learn know how to do this effectively.
Date, or Interview?
Nothing would be more unattractive that being on a date with a woman and feeling like she is interrogating me like a cop grilling a robbery suspect.
These are the kind of “dates” that she gives the High Value Male: a non-romantic and business like.
It’s a pseudo-interview were she’s more interested in running his credit and calling his references than getting to know the guy for who he is as a person.
Drinks with a woman like this will feel more like a tax audit than a seductive evening.
Is this what you’ve worked so hard in your career, at the gym, and in your social circles for?
Many people speculate that most posters on FDS are unattractive. There’s plenty of content on the site that suggests many of the readers are less than desirable.
I explored this at length in my post “Aging, Unattractive Women Resort to ‘Female Dating Strategies’”.
No matter what she looks like, even a beauty queen is undesirable if a man feels like she only wants to use him for his money or his willingness to help her raise another man’s child.
Ironically, prettier and younger women are the least likely to be trying to do background checks on men.
Younger women are EASIER to deal with, and a lot more fun.
See my post, “Younger Women Are More Fun”.
Downplay Your Stability to Women
In terms of the Female Dating Strategies community, a “High Value Man” (HVM) is desirable for their purposes because he will provide the security of a committed, monogamous relationship or marriage.
Little girls play house with dolls and Easy Bake Ovens from the time they can walk.
Most women dream of planning an elaborate wedding and being a mother their entire lives.
Even the Strong, Independent FDS “Kweens” need a man to marry them to bring the dream into reality.
As a man, you have the power to make a woman’s wildest dreams come true.
But what’s in it for you?
My advice to men reading this to not worry about establishing yourself as “High Value”, as defined by women who need you to check a box off their list of accomplishments.
In fact, if you are looking for casual relationships with women, it’s better to downplay your accomplishments and stability.
Being seen as a potential husband HVM could stop, or delay her from sleeping with you, because she’s following some silly “strategies”- even if she likes you.
This should be easy for us in the Solitary Beast community.
As elusive introverts, we are naturally mysterious.
We already know that a woman should be doing do 80- 90% of the talking on a date.
You shouldn’t be talking about your career, your investments, your recent promotion; you are listening intently while she recounts the entire history of her 10 year relationship with her best friend.
If she asks about your career, deflect with a playful, funny comment, and return the conversation back to her.
In Conclusion
The essence of the Solitary Beast Lifestyle is the ability to define yourself and live your life by your own terms of success.
A confident man doesn’t need to rely on his money and success to seduce beautiful women.
In fact, he knows that the best way to build rapport and make women (or anybody) like you more is to let them talk about themselves, be interested, and keep the conversation light and playful.
Pursue a career and chase accomplishment for yourself.
Downplay it to women, or don’t bring it up at all.
Let her find another “High Value” sucker to leech off of.